Something Strange.

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Dear Bianca,

    Something strange occurred to me while writing The Fatalist… That as I write, I realize the best characters, the best emulations of living, breathing people, cannot be controlled, cannot be written exactly to be what I want them to be. Funny, is it not? That the writer cannot control his work. But it makes all too much sense, if I simply wrote Clara to be the tool that drives the plot, she would not emulate a person, she would be… Well a tool, an item to move the story. So I thought about it deeply, and I realized that if I as a writer cannot truly control my creation when it is at its zenith, its absolute greatest, who am I to control a real person, to control you? I love my characters, my work, I love you too. But I cannot think of controlling either… It would be unnatural, would it not? Truly, the best written work emulates life in its natural state, uncontrolled, free, with a will of it’s own. And that’s what happened, my great works are not what I thought they would be, what I thought they should be, but what they wanted to be on their own. So, yes, I shall be quite sorry to lose you, and the fact that I am not the object of your affection, that you would not choose to stay, it hurts greatly. Yet though I would be devastated to lose you, I can bear that, I am strong. What I cannot bear though, is to trap you, to reduce you to an item to complete what I think my story is, what I think your story is. The truth is that your story cannot be written by I or anyone else, and that I or anyone else cannot write our stories by overruling another. That would be unbecoming of a writer, a good one at least. So I say, follow your heart, go with Jamiel, and be happy, go to where your heart wishes to be, so that you will be able to reach your greatest possible self. That, is enough to assure me that my despair will not stay,  and then I too will be able to naturally reach my zenith as well. Although, I do have one request yet… Simply think of me sometimes, that is all. And know that I will always love you, Bianca. Know that and I shall bid you farewell. 


Wholeheartedly, Count Eden Lancía del Axsón y Cella

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