Biggest cope post of the century. [P5R Fanfic]

Coping, as I am about to finish P5R again.

Yes I am an Akeshu shipper. Enjoy.

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First, and Likely Last.

February 2 20XX

It is a cold evening in Yongen-Jaya, not unusual since winter is in full swing. Though, tonight seems colder than normal somehow.

The Café... sits still with a thick silence after His terrible reveal. I wanted to believe it wasn't true. That it was a lie, a fabrication... something to spook us into taking his deal. My heart is bruised. No, it is more than just that, it is wounded and bleeding, from a wound I thought had closed. He left, after uttering such world shattering, such heartbreaking words. 

Why? Why did it have to end up that way three months ago…

Akechi: You're the one who's going to disappear!

Akechi violently screamed as he turned his gun from the Phantom Thieves and to his cognitive self. And a loud bang rings out as he fires a shot straight into the cognitive fake. Immediately after, he turns straight to the Phantom Thieves and fires another shot, this time into the controls of the bulkhead door causing it to activate and soon after it slams shut. Leaving him, the cognitive fake, and the fake's shadows behind it.

"The watertight bulkhead door has closed. All personnel within the partition: evacuate at once."

Cognitive Akechi: You bastard!

Two shots were loosed, I remember them too well, as if they rang out to the beat of my heart. I looked to our navigator and intelligence expert, Futaba Sakura, hope dying as I waited for her confirmation, confirmation of my worst fear in this whole damned world.

Futaba: His signal is gone. I only detect the weaklings now.

I shouldn’t have been shocked. It was… It was only right, two shots, two bodies, the end… But, but I was– I was devastated. You know, after everything I’d been through, all the bullshit: false charges, probation, Kamoshida, Madarame, Kaneshiro, Medjed, Okumura…

That, that was the first time in my life I felt the worst kind of anger… I wanted to kill, I wanted to kill the man who forced Akechi into this situation. I wanted so badly to burst into that treasure room and murder Masayoshi Shido.

But no. That wasn’t how the Phantom Thieves did things. That wasn’t how I did things. Before the guns went off, Akechi called out beyond the door, his weak voice shaking me to my core, so much so that it took all of my energy not to burst into tears. 

Akechi: Please! End Shido’s crimes, in my stead…! You won’t say no won’t you?

I wanted to hold him, tell him it was going to be okay. That he could wake up tomorrow and it would all be over, that we could be happy…

Every night after was the same for the longest time. I couldn’t keep myself from crying. Blaming myself. He’s gone because of you. You didn’t try hard enough. Why didn’t you tell him? He needed you. You abandoned him.

Morgana tried his best to console me. It isn’t my fault. He tried to kill you, kill us. What happened was on him. You didn’t owe him anything. You did more than anyone would have.

And maybe he was right. And maybe I should have forgotten about him. Well, at least if I did… It would have made all this. this fucking mess, this nightmare, much, much more easier.

It was right after we had defeated the god of control, Yaldabaoth. Brought his tyranny to its natural end, the world was free from the chains of ruin, and so were I and my friends. But, Morgana was lost. As the metaverse faded, his form went with it. Still, we defended humanity. That’s worth celebration… 

I felt relieved and empty. I lost not only the love of my life but also a dear friend just to get here. Here, being Tokyo central square, watching as people moved on, celebrating their Christmas… As a family, with their lovers, or all alone. 

They would never know the sacrifices I– All of us endured to make sure they would enjoy this, this White Christmas.  I stood still, getting more and more numb each second that passed. Then, the prosecutor Sae Nijima found me.

Sae: I didn’t expect to find the world’s savior alone on Christmas Eve.

That was a kicker. A great fucking joke. I would have laughed if I wasn’t ready to breakdown. She told me I needed to turn myself in, as if I– No, I guess if it started with me, it needed to end with me.

Well, I knew I had nothing to lose at that point, so why not? Why not just go in, and put the nail in the coffin for that bastard Shido? It’s… I, I didn’t have anything else to do. So, I opened my mouth to speak but then… Well, at the time, something amazing happened.

Akechi: There’s no need for that.

Nothing could have prepared me for who I saw that night. I turned almost immediately, eagerly even, to the sound of his voice. It was him. He was standing there, right there in front of me. I jumped, if Sae wasn’t around I would have ran straight into his arms.

But, the reunion was fated to be bittersweet. He turned himself in, in my place. He said that, getting their hands on the perpetrator would eliminate all the headache. Unfortunately, I had to agree. No matter how I felt. He still committed all those crimes, he had to pay for them, whether I liked it or not.

At least then, I had some hope. He was alive. And maybe, just maybe, I could be with him in the future. So, with that piece of solace in my heart, I walked back home, well back to Cafe Leblanc to meet up with my caretaker, Sojiro Sakura.

I spent the eve with Sojiro and Futaba. We were like a family. It was nice to finally look at the future without a looming ruin surrounding it, without the uncertainty of whether I or my friends would get out alive this time around, without a completely shattered heart. 

Everything was great, Morgana even returned to us– In cat form– But I was glad to have him back, and for a small while things stayed great. But… But- But then the new years happened, and the world was turned upside down.

Dr. Takuto Maruki. Him, he who took the throne of God when Yaldabaoth fled it, and when we left it empty. He twisted the world, made it into one where pain never existed. Suffice to say, it was normal for a bit, then things got strange.

Suddenly my cat, Morgana, became a human, Ann Takamaki, one of my teammates was hanging out with Shiho Suzuki, one of Suguru Kamoshida’s victims who had previously left Tokyo, Ryuji Sakamoto, my best friend, was back doing track and field after being forced to leave when that same Kamoshida broke his leg, Yusuke Kitagawa and Ichiryusai Madarame were on good terms again yet the latter was the sole reason for the former’s orphaning, the Nijima sisters, Sae and Makoto, their father had been seemingly resurrected, along with Futaba’s mother, Wakaba Isshiki, and Haru’s father, Kunikazu Okumura, even though both of them saw their deaths firsthand. Something was wrong.

Not even a week after his arrest, Akechi suddenly appeared to me. He shared in my cognizance of the situation.

Akechi: You know, don’t you?

My heart skipped a beat. We decided to discuss this in a more… Secretive manner. So we headed to the laundromat in an alley. We talked about the situation, both sharing discomfort in the revelation that the world was manipulated. We agreed to work together/

I… I felt shamefully happy. The world was wrong, but well, at least he was here with me, like me, and we were working together. As he walked off I smiled to myself. Maybe now we could start again…

Yet soon after we finished the investigation I was reminded of something he said, that fucking day three months ago. ‘That didn’t happen in reality.’ It hit me so… So cruelly, I feel as though the world is always against us. As if neither of us can escape that day, neither of us can escape and be happy. It’s not fair.

Maruki, told me– Us. I and Akechi, that he… He… That Akechi was supposed to… To die on that. THAT FUCKING DAY. That he is only here right now because of my wish, one he so “graciously” granted as part of his master plan to erase pain from the world.

Why?! WHY!? I wanted to scream, to bound toward the other side of the table and beat Maruki to a bloody pulp. Why… Why would you do this to me? Why can’t we be together?!

I suppose both Morgana and Akechi could tell I was set off. They looked at me one horrified, the other curiously as I sat there, nearly foaming at the mouth, so angry, so hurt, so ready to destroy it all. We sat there, all three of us in dead silence… Akechi laid a hand on my shoulder, and squeezed gently, he broke the silence soon after.

Akechi: Morgana, I wish to speak to Akira… Alone.

Morgana simply nodded and went off on his way. I looked to Akechi and he frowned deeply at me, it was uncomfortable, I don’t think I had ever seen him looking that way, he looked so sad… It broke my heart a little, not the first time he’d done that but, I was getting weary of it. Still, I knew he wanted to say something, something important, he just wasn’t sure how to word it.

Akechi: I am sorry. I- I had a feeling that this was the case and I didn’t tell you.

Akechi takes a gentle tone, he sits next to me, keeping his hand on my shoulder. Though, I can’t bear to look at him.

Ren: Hh…So that’s it then? All this, and you’re going to disappear on me.

Akechi: I didn’t think… You would care that much.

The fuck? If I couldn’t bear to look at him a second ago, now my eyes are locked on his face. I’m sure mine is full of anger.

Ren: That’s the dumbest shit I’ve heard come out of your mouth. Of course I would have cared!

Akechi: That’s why-

Taking his hand off my shoulder. The anger builds up inside me, taking hold of everything. How can he mean this?

Ren: Do you know how it felt, seeing you die!? I couldn’t live with myself!

Akechi: Ren, listen to me, I tried to kill you. I deserved everything I got. It was only right that I died there.

Nearly screaming, I grab him by his shoulders, he only bristles slightly before looking me dead in the eyes. The bastard.

Ren: -How can you say that!?

He shoves me back, scoffing. How is he so calm about any of this? 

Akechi: Calm down, …you idiot. I told you before. You should have just left me.

Ren: I care about you, Akechi, how many times do I have to tell you until you understand…

Akechi: I understand, but I think– No I know, you’re wrong to do so. I- I can only hurt you.

To that I can only look at him in disbelief. I can’t help but draw a bit farther. He sighs and looks at me guiltily.

Ren: You’re hurting me right now.

Akechi: Exactly.

Ren: No you don’t understand. You’re hurting me because you keep talking like that. You-

Akechi: I don’t deserve better, I have done so much- Look, you are the one who deserves better, not me. I’m-

I stand up, frustrated, far too frustrated. This piece of shit. How dense can he be? All this time and he still doesn’t know.

Ren: But I love you! Akechi. I don’t care if you think I deserve better, because you are all I have ever wanted… So don’t say things like that.

Akechi stands up in shock. He looks at me like I just did something appalling, like I said something unforgivable.

Akechi: You… You love me?! But-

Ren: Stop. Don’t say it. Please. Just, accept my love. You don’t need to put yourself down.

Akechi: That’s impossible, you know that. There is no reality where I deserve this.

I am not taking this shit. I step towards him but he stands his ground.

Ren: Do you love me?

His response is to back away slightly. I see.

Akechi: Ren-

Ren: Just answer the question. If you don't, that's fine. We’ll fuck the deal, we’ll beat Maruki, and you can leave.

Akechi: …I love you too.

WIth a sigh I move even closer to him, holding my face an inch from his.

Ren: Then shut up, and stay with me tonight. Promise me you’ll stop putting yourself down. 

Akechi: …Okay, but…

Ren: …

Akechi: You need to give me an honest answer as well. What do you plan to do about Maruki?

I take a step back. What I plan to do? If I take his deal, the world is forever changed. No more pain, or so he says, all of us can be happy. If I don’t and we manage to beat him, the world goes back to normal… And Akechi dies… And Akechi… Dies. Akechi dies. 

I look at him, dead in the eyes, pleadingly.

Ren: Akechi.

Akechi: If you plan to take his deal, we’re over.

I feel a dropping feeling come in my chest. He can’t seriously be suggesting that I-

Ren: But-

Akechi: Ren, for fucks sake! My entire life has been out of my control. Shido, Yaldabaoth. now Maruki. I just want to be free.

Don’t cry. Ren, don’t cry, not now.

Ren: Akechi please.

Akechi: Ren, I will not tolerate this indecision. I have never known you to fold to bullshit trivialities, so don’t start now.

It’s no use. I can’t stop myself.

Ren: This is not trivial! This is your life, Akechi. I love you, I can’t let you die, not again!

The tears fall freely down my face, Akechi hesitates slightly but he resolves himself quickly.

Akechi: You’re right, this IS my life. So please, don’t say you can’t let me die, I am choosing this. It isn’t on you, Ren.

This time he’s the one coming closer to me. I try to step back but I fall on to the seating.

Ren: Akechi-

As I pull myself up he grabs on to my shoulders, settling himself above me.

Akechi: Ren please.

He is crying as well.

I grab his cheek and pull his face into mine. Tonight, we share our first and final kiss. He and I hold onto each other, both knowing that neither of us will feel this touch again.

The end.

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